Wade Botkin, MA, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern (FL Lic.#IMH4818)
Couples/Family Therapy
Love, belonging and nurturing can create really good feelings, and that’s usually why we seek out relationships. Too often though, many find more pain than pleasure. It can become a negative cycle of disappointment.
Sometimes people come to therapy fixated on blaming their partner or family member, and want to bolt from therapy when their half of the relationship is explored. Many of us have been blamed and shamed for so long that we cannot imagine another way of relating, so the fighting goes on and on, and the walls of distance expand. There is a better way.
There are four basic levels of communication or relating. Level one is characterized by the wearing of the social mask. It happens when we engage in the non-descript chitchat that goes on where little personal or real information is shared. It’s perfect for many social situations, but not for long-term relationships. Level two is the game of blame and shame. Here we work hard to make each other wrong, finger point and create emotional distance. Here communication gets real, but comes from a victim attitude. Couples and families too often get stuck in blame and shame, and this results in relationships that are chilly and distant. Without an alternative to the game of blame and shame, therapy and relationships will eventually fail. Level three is the alternative path, and the place where the work of therapy unfolds.
Level three can lead us right into the ultimate goal of level four communication: the love, belonging and nurturing that we were seeking from the start. Are you interested in discovering level three, and the deeply rewarding and incredibly good feelings of level four relationships? Are you willing to trade being right for being happy? Then couples or family therapy is the place to start! Click here to contact Wade.